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early morning satire …

April 10, 2016

in brief, and before my bath

 

[the visit between US presidential candidate bernie sanders and the vatican]

 

bernie: good morning holy father

pope: holy father? we thought you were jewish. a conversion? if you are interested, we have a few advisements.

bernie: I am proud to be jewish … holy father is what I was told to say

pope: hmm … that’s a start. how can we help you then?

bernie: I just wanted to let you know that in my socialist agenda you will not loose your special status. you will continue to receive what you have always received—okay?

and … I know that you are preaching the message to take in refugees. this has been a mission of yours. am I correct?

pope: (long pause) y-yes, but … what is your plan?

bernie: I thought we could work together on this—you know …

pope:  I don’t know

bernie: use your facilities … your catholic members. set an example and get the ball rolling for this mass exodus out of egypt

pope: my catholic members? the laity do not obey roman catholic doctrine, and based on a recent washington post survey … they are more american than america

bernie: I did not know taking in refugees was part of your roman catholic doctrine

pope: not directly, or without consequence but … it does have its purpose for our (muffled voice … due to large cross dragging across ornate chair arm … as pope takes a sip from a glass chalice)

bernie: excuse me  … agenda? what agenda?

pope: recruits

bernie: recruits for what?

pope: we need warriors on the front lines … to stop the (cough) … recent take over of our system

bernie: I don’t know what you mean. your system?

pope: the recent marriage laws … the abortions … the women being allowed, I mean, people doing what they want instead of what they should do.

bernie: oh, so you were not serious about who am I to judge … ?

then what is it that you want?

pope: we need a purpose

bernie: so … you preach to others to bring in the poor and destitute, the abused and the oppressed, but you will not do it yourselves?

pope: what do we look like—a hospital?

(bernie looks around now noticing the extravagance of the room, the rich mahogany flooring … the riches)

bernie: I see … so your message is more of one like candidate trump’s message? let others build the wall … to keep you from … dying?

 

 

join us next sunday for … meet the press

😮

 

added MONDAY April 18, 2016

like we said, meet the press:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/top-trump-aide-lobbied-for-1409744144007222.html

 

 

 

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2 Comments
  1. opheliart permalink

    to gibson’s article @ RNS

    Betty Clermont April 10, 2016 at 6:49 am
    The document is ambiguous enough to be interpreted by each bishop and priest as he chooses. For example, Pope Francis recently extended the Holy Thursday foot-washing ritual to include women which was already being done for decades if the pastor approved. The pope’s appointed prefect in charge of liturgy announced soon after Pope Francis’ statement that no priest was obligated to include women.
    NB: The pope’s exhortation is more than 60.000 words. Jesus spoke 2026 words in Gospels and the four Gospels combined are 64,766 words.

    _____________

    😀 and how much did those bad boys add and take away?

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